The last time I saw Janet was Thanksgiving 96. Family and friends were gathered for a day of good food and good company. Laughter would echo off the walls. We were all in high spirits enjoying ourselves. Nothing portending the events that later unfolded. On the day of the murder Ted and Janet had been out shopping for a Christmas tree that they later spent several hours decorating. Janet had moved into her own place after living with Ted for several years. It was not a huge source of contention as prosecutors would later hint at at the trial. The simple fact was that Janet wanted a child and Ted did not. He was not about to cross the threshold of 50 and begin raising another son or daughter. She was still in her late 20's and probably felt her biological clock ticking. Despite this disagreement their bond remained strong and they continued to see each other on a regular basis. Another theory prosecutors hoisted up the mast for all to see was their idea that Ted and Krista had an affair. News to the the rest of us, but why would we know. Honestly, this was too ridiculous for words. I thought that Janet should have a say in all this, especially since she is the one person who can't. She may have expressed herself differently from what I imagined. Considering someone just took your life, I venture rage would have more accurately described her feelings in the matter. However I have chosen to let her reflect on the situation. The final four lines is a bit of an editorial on my behalf and may sit uncomfortably with the rest of the lyric, but I have left it in. I do fear though I may be right..
You stole my life and erased my future
carved my soul with melted led
I never knew that it was over
until I saw myself lie dead
I had dreams that's now forsaken
I had hopes now gone awry
and in my world of quiet silence
I will always ponder why
A winter night of bleak composure
foreshadows darkness calls out despair
The streetlights glow in crimson carnage
gleaming off one blood stained tear
Yesterday was my last tomorrow
the shelter for my aching sorrow
A harbour safe and lost in time
with the memories I left behind
I stand amongst you and watch the madness
spy myself there on the ground
A pale forever is cast upon me
and I speak without a single sound
I would like to linger longer
perhaps stay another while
Cry for those who'll come to mourn me
and for the ghost of my unborn child
The symphony of suffering
will not console the damned
and some day some one else
will die before this man
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